Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
