yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
