Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
