This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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