Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
