Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Less talking, more tequila
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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