Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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