can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
