Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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