Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize