My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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