Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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