Im at strip club and am horny
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize