i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
