this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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