How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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