He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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