Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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