I must be too annoying 4 u.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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