At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
