Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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