Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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