We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
