Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
