Betty ford says i'm here all night
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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