Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
