I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
