I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
