Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
