Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
