Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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