R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
