I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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