k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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