I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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