i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
