And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
