We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
