She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
