He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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