I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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