part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
