I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
