My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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