she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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