Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
how does that bad decision feel?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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