Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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