I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
