Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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