Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
