You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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