That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize