im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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