I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
