i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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