Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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