i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
