I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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