And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
