You surviving the open bar?
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Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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