your room smells of hookers.
And success
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
