No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
