Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize