Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
this will be a night to untag.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
