Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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