Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
