you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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