She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
