Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
