you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
