If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
