you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
